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Camille Styles

Living Kindly

The Surprising Benefits of Disappointment

November 6th, 2017

Recently, I found out that a work project that I’d spent weeks preparing for wasn’t going to happen. The opportunity was scrapped for reasons out of my control, and when the news dropped into my inbox, I immediately felt that familiar pit deep in my stomach that always seems to accompany true disappointment. (Also, how weird is it that the gut is so connected to our emotions? But I digress…) In that moment, I had a choice: I could attempt to avoid future disappointment by “not getting my hopes up” (i.e. the self-protection instincts that we frequently employ but rarely actually work), or I could allow myself to feel the disappointment, accept that I can’t win ’em all, and take a few learnings from the experience. Then, move on.

photo via jacqueline mikuta

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11 Comments
  1. Kelly Krause says:

    The universe, God, whatever you believe in is always working FOR us <3

  2. I love your perspective! I hadn’t really thought about disappointment as a positive before, so I’m very thankful for your post!

    xo, Elisabeth
    http://elisabethhayes.com

  3. Jennifer Rose Smith says:

    I love this, Camille. I’ve found that when we allow ourselves to be really vulnerable, and share our most painful, raw moments of disappointment with select friends, it can allow for really beautiful moments of human connection and friendship. Some of my dearest friendships were born out of hard times.

  4. Cynthia says:

    This is all well and good, but as your business grows, so must your savvy. Next time a proposal comes up, negotiate a kill fee. If the party you’re working with changes course, you will at least get a monetary sum to soften the pain and compensate you for the time and effort you already put into the project.

  5. This was an insightful read. Thank you for this today.

  6. Emilie says:

    Great post! I have been in a similar position recently and you’ve reminded me of how important it is to stay resilient and keep trying for without that we’d miss out on great opportunities! x

    http://www.mes-dames.com

  7. Great post! All very true!

  8. Mackenzie says:

    This is an amazing reminder!! I completely agree with you. It’s also interesting how as we get older we are so much more equipped to deal with disappointments. Years ago, like you were saying, I would have curled up in a ball and dwelled on every single little thing “I might have said” to sway things the way they went. Sometimes things just don’t work out and that’s life. Thank you for this post, I love it!!!

    Mackenzie
    https://www.brunchonsunday.com

  9. Mary Beth says:

    I really enjoyed reading the post. It was very relevant to my life right now and helped!

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