I’ve always loved a good how we met story. Posing the question to a couple and then watching them tell it together is the most fun way to get to know them better as a duo. The way they get excited, talking over each other to debate the smaller details, watching their personality types and love languages naturally reveal themselves—a hand-on-the-arm when one remembers something the other had forgotten or gotten out of order—it’s a fantastic bonding moment. I highly recommend it for your next couples date night once we’re no longer hosting Zoom nights “out” with friends—sigh.
After almost 23 years together, my husband and I (pictured below) have our story and the way we tell it down pat. But every time we share it, we feel that buzzy beginning feeling that takes us back to that fateful night in 1997. (My insecure 16-year-old self somehow managed to ask him out on the first date. #girlpower)
*image above from Riley’s wedding by Ryan Chard Smith
The most interesting part of sharing these stories, in my experience, is that no two love stories are ever the same. There’s a unique path that takes a couple from point A to Point “I do.”
Some come with more bumps in the road than others, some take longer journeys, some are instantaneous, and some seem like incredible twists of fate. The element they all have in common is the desire to love and be loved.
Just in time for the 14th of February, we caught up with 14 couples across the country—as well as this couple from Panama—to hear their “meet cute” story and what makes their partnership stand the test of time.
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How’d you meet?
We met planning a wedding together for a client at Hotel Saint Cecilia—Rene and Laura were the chefs for the event, and I was the event planner at the hotel at the time! We actually didn’t start dating until a year and a half later, but that’s when we first crossed paths. It’s still hotly debated who asked whom out first.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
Staying on the same team. We started thinking of our relationship and family as the rock, and everything else as something that we are trying to fix or solve together, even when it’s within our relationship. This reframed the way we see problems. Also keeping a sense of humor even when dealing with the hard stuff of life is thrown at you.
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How’d you meet?
We met in Lubbock, Texas while Krista was getting her B.A. in Business and Denise was in law school. We like to say our story is the perfect title for a country love song, “Two Lesbians Found Love in Lubbock.”
What’s the key to your relationship success? We strive to empower one another every single day by pouring out unconditional love, respect, and trust.
For our single friends out there, any advice on how to date in this modern (and quarantined!) world we live in?
Stay hopeful. I was single (and very busy founding businesses and nonprofits including @BRAVECommunities) for 46 years and know how discouraging and depressing dating may get. They (the ‘good’ ones) are out there… but don’t compensate for your dreams and goals and feel like you need to settle just to be in a relationship. And, while it may seem hopeless to “meet” anyone while we’re quarantining, use this time to weed out the frogs.
Meeting up virtually will have plenty of benefits. You can know someone’s character through talking and seeing their facial and body language (which means texting and DMing don’t count). Be creative with virtual encounters and hopefully people will get to know each other more through conversation and have the opportunity to share at least one commonality of dating during a global pandemic.
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
You can’t change others. You can only change your attitude and expectations.
How’d you meet?
At a bluegrass music festival in North Wilkesboro, NC when we were 16 years old. He had just gotten a cell phone and asked me if I wanted to text him. At first, he asked me to be his girlfriend on AOL instant messenger and I insisted, “No, ask me in person.” He asked me the next day. Four and a half years later he asked me to marry him on a bridge overlooking a farmers market in Central Virginia. We had just eaten blackberry pie and I knew he had a ring in his pocket.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
Conversation, curiosity, and listening to music together.
Did you learn anything about your partner in quarantine?
Joah and I were very nomadic for the first two years of our relationship—I am from Spain and had been living in Los Angeles—and had just moved into our house in November of 2019. So during quarantine, we had an opportunity to settle in and intentionally make this a home together, as well as take time to slow down and cherish the simple small home life things we didn’t ever really have before.
Carving out our own space and routine together has been a huge luxury. I love being able to witness Joah’s moments of inspiration when he wakes up in the morning with that jolt of divine purpose, that intense calling, in his case, to write, which is something he does beautifully. It’s also been fun to see him running his business, Localeur, from home, and hear his half of conference calls while I’m next door in my studio painting. As an artist myself I love those moments of seeing how he creates and works, and I think this sense of grounding has allowed both him and I to find a way to create a home that is fruitful for both of us in a new way.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
We have a really genuine desire to be our best for each other and together, and actively pursue that every day.
P.S.I have a new song coming out to celebrate our three-year anniversary this Valentine’s Day. It’s called tqro or “te quiero” which means “I love you/I want you” in Spanish.
Did you learn anything about your partner in quarantine?
After 40 years together, being quarantined is just a new routine, but we’re the same people.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
One word: laughter.
How’d you meet?
I worked at the agency that Adam owned. For the first year or so, we developed a great friendship and so much mutual respect for each other. But at some point, neither of us could deny the obvious chemistry! One day, we grabbed a drink after work, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. At the time, it was a bit of a “work scandal,” but over a decade of marriage and two kids later, I think we’ve proved that it wasn’t just a workplace fling, ha!
What’s the key to your relationship success?
We’re always on the same team, we genuinely love spending time together, and we never forget why we first fell in love.
How’d you meet?
We met when we were both working as chefs at a restaurant in San Antonio. Two and a half years later, we’re more in love than ever and engaged to be married.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
Laughter!
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What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness.” My mom and grandma shared this advice often when I was growing up. The quote comes from a poem by Kahlil Gibran and speaks to the kind of love where two separate people come together, each working to become whole in-and-of themselves. And out of this wholeness, they meet and build something stronger together than either would have alone.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
We find ways to do things we love, together.
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What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
Saying how you feel is important but showing how you feel is key.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
Support… and the fact that we can share clothes.
Did you learn anything about your partner in quarantine?
We learned that we can do nothing together and still have fun.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
Mutual respect (and chemistry). We have fun. We laugh at ourselves and at life’s absurdities. We try to make an adventure out of everything we do. Our core values are very similar.
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What’s the key to your relationship success?
Communication is vital. We ask each other quarterly what each other’s top three love languages are, as they are ever-changing. We both are open to personal transformation, and we understand tough seasons are a time for growth, not a time to call it quits.
For our single friends out there, any advice on how to date in this modern (and quarantined!) world we live in?
Be honest from the beginning. Ask deep questions to know if the other person is actually ready for commitment.
How’d you meet?
Gary was in the U.S. Air Force, stationed in England. We met one night at a village dance. He was handsome, and I was smitten. After a few dances, we talked for a couple of hours. Coming from two totally different countries, we were surprised to learn how much we had in common. He had a great sense of humor and made me laugh. I fell in love that night. After dating for six months, we got engaged… And six months after that we were married.
What’s the key to your relationship success?
After fifty-one years of marriage, we are blessed to still be in love and enjoying each other’s company.
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
Kiss for seven seconds when you get home from work. And, build your relationship while still building your own lives—the two will help support each other.
For our single friends out there, any advice on how to date in this modern (and quarantined!) world we live in?
Be true to yourself from the get-go. On first dates, I wore my hair natural and skipped on the makeup. Why? Because that’s who I am 99% of the time and I wanted to make sure that my future partner knew me for who I am, and what I was going to be. The right partner will love who you are.
What is the best relationship advice you’ve ever been given?
