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How to Avoid the Comparison Game

July 17th, 2014

chic workspace | Camille Styles

We’ve all felt it: the slight gnawing twinge of discontent (or maybe it’s even evolved into a slight depression) that pops up after spending time scrolling through our social media feeds. Call it what you want — envy, jealousy, FOMO — but there’s no doubt it’s often a result when we allow ourselves to play the comparison game. It can be brought on by someone else getting a s***load of instagram likes, or landing a huge opportunity, or “lucking out” with a new job that you’d really like to have (please tell me I’m not the only one who’s felt this way?) And now those triggers are constantly at our fingertips, letting us dive right into the comparison game with one swipe of our iPhone, ready to tap into the disconnect they we all feel sometimes between the life that we want to have and the life that we actually have. And since Instagram especially is so ripe for creating a façade of a “perfect” life, we can easily find ourselves in a constant state of catch up with someone who, from the outside looking in, seems to have it all.street style - iphone | Camille Styles

As a blogger, my career is often completely rooted in the online world, and social media is an inextricable part of my workday. It’s not really an option professionally for me to delete my Instagram account, nor would I want to since I think it can be an amazing tool for keeping a visual record of our days, keeping up with family and friends and sharing moments that I find inspiring. So the question becomes, if we’re going to use and interact with social media on a daily basis, how do we combat the feeling of dissatisfaction that can accompany a scroll through the “fabulous” lives of everyone in our feed? Here are a few practices that have worked for me:
  1. Be others focused. Instagram is often a shiny happy world where people post only the moments (and outfits, meals, parties, and destinations) they want people to see (edited and filtered to perfection.) There’s nothing wrong with conveying a curated feed of the things that inspire us as long as we’re not forgetting that the other 99.9% of our lives is actually real life. If I find myself focusing on the number of “likes” I’m getting, it probably means that it’s time for me to get outside myself and start engaging with other people, loving my family and friends, and setting my sights on the people and things in my life that matter. Because real-life love beats 1 million “likes” any day of the week.
  2. Be supportive, never jealous. In this crazy and fast-changing world of blogging and social media, can we please find a way to be on the same team and help each other? Instead of allowing the wins of our friends’ (or “competitors’ “) to feel like threats, how can we turn our perspective so that they are an encouragement and inspiration to us? It’s not as though the amount of success in the world is some kind of bank account that can be depleted; there’s lots to go around, and our friend’s success in no way takes away from our own present or future victories. Trust me: when you’re able to truly be happy and supportive of others’ accomplishments, you’re left feeling one thousand times better than if you let jealousy rear its ugly head.
  3. Just be inspired. One of my good friends Ashley Woodson Bailey recently shifted her career as a floral designer to that of fine art photographer, inspired by the desire to capture the constant metamorphosis of a flower as a moment in time. She does it on her own terms with her favorite medium (flowers) and her iPhone. Ashley told me that since she gave herself the freedom to dive headfirst into her passion, she’s finally been able to ditch the cycle of competition she’d previously felt and learn to appreciate the beauty all around her. Instead of constantly feeling the need to “get ahead,” she’s learning to let real things of substance, like sharing art and beauty that moves people, become her yardstick for success. Just remember: a quick snapshot on social media (and how others respond to it) is unrelated to our real value in the world.
  4. Learn to set boundaries. Do you have certain “triggers” that set off the start of the comparison game for you? Be aware of when these happen, and be proactive in deterring them. Maybe it means turning off your phone at a certain time in the evening, or refraining from scrolling through your instagram feed first thing in the morning. On vacation or even just over the weekend at home, it might mean unplugging for an entire day so that, instead of thinking about how you’re going to capture it with your iPhone, you’re actually just soaking it all in. And if that sounds like a dramatic step, it probably means that it’s just what the doctor ordered.
  5. Remember: life’s too short to worry too much about what other people think! You’ve got one chance to live it, and I promise that most people are way too caught up in their own little worlds to worry too much about yours, anyway. Our culture applies the time-is-money principle to every single moment of the day and night, which doesn’t leave room for rest, play, or so many other things that our bodies and souls long for. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to master the art of staying present in the real (not virtual) moment.
emerson fry girl at computer  | Camille Styles
I wanted to write this as much to create a constant reminder to myself, as to share and get thoughts on the subject from all of you. In this world when our sense of value and purpose can be rocked by “likes,” “follows,” and other metrics that are, at their root, pretty meaningless, it can be difficult not to start feeling like the internet is one big popularity contest. One thing that usually helps me combat jealousy of any kind is to remember that, no matter how hard I try, there’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter, more well-liked, wittier, and all-around better than me at just about anything I can pursue, but they can’t be me. The power of each of our individual uniqueness is that it’s the one thing someone else can’t match — no one can be as good of a version of me than I can be when I set my mind to being my very best self. So, get in touch with what unique gifts you bring to the world, then devote yourself to cultivating the things that light you up and cause you to overflow with energy and love.

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103 Comments under :: How to Avoid the Comparison Game
  1. Thank you so much for this post Camille! Something that I definitely needed to hear as a blogger and creative. It is really competitive out there and I find it often weighing on my self-esteem. You coined it best by saying ‘real-life love beats 1 million “likes” any day of the week’. Thank you!.

  2. This is a great article! So motivating and inspiring. Let’s all be our best selves and support each other along the way!

  3. Drew says:

    This is such a great post. It is so easy to get caught up in the blogging world where there is tons of competition but if you do it because you love it and want to connect with others than there is no need to be envious!

  4. Amy says:

    Love this article Camille (and love Ashely too)! So glad I began practicing yoga WAY before I began blogging. The practice of “staying in the present moment” has certainly come in handy along the way. Great advice!

    • Love that your healthy practices have helped counterbalance the negativity… I love the idea of yoga and mindfulness as an additional “strategy” to employ with this issue!

  5. unpofucsia says:

    I am confused – you made not only instagram account but your whole business out of and around presenting yourself and your world as “a shiny and happy” and by posting “only the moments (and outfits, meals, parties, and destinations) you want people to see (edited and filtered to perfection.) ” – but now you dont like how it makes you feel when other people do similar thing on instagram ? I am sorry but this sound like a double standard to me.

    • Thanks for your thoughtful point… The key is in the lines directly following what you quoted: “There’s nothing wrong with conveying a curated feed of the things that inspire us as long as we’re not forgetting that the other 99.9% of our lives is actually real life. If I find myself focusing on the number of “likes” I’m getting, it probably means that it’s time for me to get outside myself and start engaging with other people, loving my family and friends, and setting my sights on the people and things in my life that matter.”
      In other words, the problem isn’t necessarily in what people are posting (since we can never control that, and as you said, I do enjoy posting pretty things that inspire me!) – the issue is in our internal reactions to them. If we find ourselves feeling insecure or jealous in reaction to our feeds, it’s time for an attitude shift or even a change in how we’re interacting with social media.

      • unpofucsia says:

        Thank you for clarification Camille – I see your point and I agree with you . We need to be aware of how something makes us feel and when it is time for new attitude. Practicing awareness helps. But you also opened a huge topic here. If blogers are aware how what they post can make people feel – they must be more responsible in labeling what they post or sell right. If we label something “lifestyle” it can not be then that our real life is ,as you said, the other 99,9% of our life that we do not show. If what we post is super-styled 0.01% – that is hardly representing our “lifestyle” . Our creative professional work yes – but regular lifestyle – hardly. And that is where people get confused and by comparing apples and oranges often depressed and disillusioned. I believe that makes same sort of confusion (and causes similar reactions) fashion magazines made when they started retouching models and selling us the idea that real women can and actually should look like it. What I am saying is that I think the whole topic you brought is very important and very complex and far-reaching. We should definitely be more aware of that when interacting with social media, I agree, but also social media- especially professional bloggers – should be more responsible. Inspirations are much needed but we need to be careful and responsible when we call something our “lifestyle ” and part of our real life. Also that does not mean that well off creative people should play down just to comfort masses … honesty and integrity and right labeling – I believe can help here great deal. Again, great topic. The one I ve been discussing with my friends for some time now. Thanks for bringing it up here.

        • Jeana says:

          Totally agree with the above post. I love this blog and others like it — I get great inspiration for my own house and dinner parties, etc. But every once in a while, it would be great to see a post that wasn’t about perfectly planned parties sponsored by Kate Spade or something similar. Often as I look at these pictures, I think … was everything at that party really that perfect? Were there even dirty dishes? Or the office remodel — the final product is lovely, but it would be great to hear about some of the problems you encountered and how you overcame them. I love perfection as much as the next girl, but everyone wants to know even perfection has a few hiccups!

          • Thanks Jeana – well said! You’re right that every party, room, recipe, & project is a result of hard work and usually learning from lots of mistakes. That is VERY true in my life, so you’ve definitely given me something to think about regarding how I can stay true to the blog’s vision of conveying beauty and inspiration, but still relate some of the trials that happened along the way. I actually talk quite a bit in my upcoming book about party planning “hiccups” I’ve experienced, and this is a good reminder that readers might want to hear about those a little more here on the blog too! :)

    • karin says:

      Once you get over the confusion not to take everything literally, you’ll be okay! My pet peeve is more the youth aspect of it all, i.e. most inspiring people, and I honestly believe them and like what they are doing, but can’t we get some more people of age? We do have the money and desire to be inspired.

  6. karin says:

    Great article…never thought there so many bad vibes on such beautiful events, ideas and connecting them to us, the public….but keep on tracking!

  7. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS! I work in social media too so I can’t delete any of my accounts! I think knowing your triggers and avoiding those is key… i.e. don’t stalk your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s Insta, unfollow that person from high school with a fakely perfect life… etc. etc…

    • Couldn’t agree more! I also work with social media and I have to remind myself that I have the power to not look at things if I don’t want to. Sometimes that comes in the form of looking through my own pictures and reminding myself that I love my own profile… errr… life.

  8. unpofucsia says:

    …. but yeah I do agree – bloggers makes this fake world where their kitchen looks like nobody ever cooked in them, where they cook with perfect manicure and full make up on and hair professionally done , tables are perfectly set for every occasion , travel destinations are always fancy etc, etc, … and just like there is nothing real about “reality shows” there is nothing real about most of blogs – they do not document their lifestyle , they hire professionals to present their lifestyle like a product … blogging somewhere took a very strange turn. Most of the things are fake and pure marketing and so very much divorced from the real life. Of course there are fabulous exceptions to the rule – like Mange blog by Mimi Thorisson where she and her husband document their actual (REAL ) life style and their real talent – that is what blogging once was before it turned into “everybody runs its own Vogue magazine” thing …. Fashion magazines and “reality” shows distorted our image of reality and most of the bloggers (unfortunately ) are following the suite . I must add – it is a very american trend that went global. I am glad you noticed the trend and wrote about it.

    • karin says:

      Well…you had me here, but when you mentioned Manger, NO….Agree though, a gorgeous lady, exceptional cute kids, husband, you can’t even describe how handsome he is, they live a life style most of us never, ever, will have, it might be all so, but I have nagging doubts….although, I have done some of her recipes, which all turned out pretty good.

    • Giulia says:

      Mimi is a former model, her husband is a professional photographer – every instragram shot and blog photo is thought out and controlled to fit her image. Just because it’s in a rustic setting doesn’t mean it’s not styled and set-up.

      • Karin says:

        Obviously, but still the setting is perfect and wines from the Medoc region….I am dreaming, thus her blog works for me.

      • unpofucsia says:

        Exactly my point – she is a former model and he is a photographer – so to them it all comes naturally! it is their lifestyle, truly – part of their life and their interest and their job. They dont fake it – that is who they are. But when you take a professional photographer, professional stylist and cook dinner in someone eases kitchen (most likely by someone else) so that your can look perfect for photo-shoot – that is hardly a true lifestyle.

  9. This is an incredibly pertinent word for the current state of the online world. Your negotiation of both appreciating yet limiting the social influence is necessary. It is a matter of engaging with the available support at our fingertips but never to the detriment of face-to-face interactions.

    http://www.onebrassfox.com

  10. Tess says:

    Camille, what a thoughtful and important discussion you have started. Maybe because I’m older (and i like to think, a little wiser) but I don’t look to your blog to present a shot of reality, but rather to transport me to a beautiful place and time. One of the many things I love about your features is that they often inspire me to make my own world more colorful and creative by incorporating some of the ideas you present…..or more delicious by using one of your great recipes!

    • Thanks Tess – that is so nice to hear! We are always striving to strike that balance between “keeping it real,” and sharing the things that inspire us and fill us with that sense of excitement that comes with seeing something really beautiful. We never want our readers to feel like they have to strive for anything unattainable, but rather encourage them to have fun by trying something new!

    • I totally agree agree with you about Camille’s blog. Just a fun place to see beautiful images, get great recipes
      and be inspired while I drink my morning coffee. :)

  11. Michela says:

    Loved this post. In our hyper-connected digital world it’s so easy to loose our sense of self-worth by constantly comparing ourselves to others on social media. I totally agree that it’s so important to hone your unique value and commit yourself to being the best version of you, because no one can be you better than you can!

  12. Carrie says:

    Thanks for this. I often feel the same way but I try to just compare myself to myself a year ago…that usually makes me feel better!

    • That is SUCH a great point, and a practice that I’m going to adopt. Love that your focus is on becoming a better and better version of yourself instead of trying to make comparisons with others. Go Carrie!!

  13. Lily says:

    This is so spot-on, and so crucial! Thanks for opening up the conversation.

    x Lily
    http://whilemyboyfriendsaway.blogspot.com/

  14. Molly Kendrick says:

    You are just beyond. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others to love ourselves and our lives right where they’re at, doing what we can with what we got! I love you!

  15. arielle says:

    this is so wonderful and so beautifully constructed and true! I am more than guilty of playing this game with myself. but also, I think learning gratitude, learning to be grateful for what you have been given, is a huge part of not getting down or depressed because someone else was blessed or lucky, also!

    love, arielle
    a simple elegance

  16. Gracie says:

    Awesome work! love it from the beginning to the end of the article.

  17. cynthia says:

    This is absolutely fantastic — words to live by, for sure. Thank you so much for this!

  18. Giulia says:

    Love this. It’s always been hard not to compare our lives to others. In the past it was the cool high school girl and her awesome family that went on great trips, hosted amazing parties and had a cool car. We also compared ourselves to magazine featured stories – looking at House and Home and wondering how they got such a pretty living room, or how Martha got the perfect cookie. While I appreciate some bloggers attempt of showing their ‘real’ world, with piles of laundry, dirty dishes and ‘stuff’ moved out of a photo shoot, that’s not what I go to blogs, instagram or magazines to see. I get to see enough ‘mess’ in my own life, I don’t need to feel better about myself because I see that you also have a messy kitchen. I go to your blog for inspiration, for ideas, for glimpses into things that are fun, pretty and take me away – just as I do when I go to the movies or on my summer vacation. Keep up your wonderful work!

    • Thanks for the kind words Giulia… it is so gratifying to hear that our goals and purposes behind the blog are coming through and inspiring our readers! We always want it to be a place where you leave feeling just a little more carefree and more creative, and nothing makes me happier than hearing we’ve been a bright spot in your day. xoxo

  19. Katie Brown says:

    Thank you for writing this! I have struggled with this for so long and even went on a social media break for half a year, it was absolutely one of the most freeing and calming times in my adult life. Lately I have gotten back into it mainly to keep up with old friends and to promote my blog, but I have fallen back into stressing over likes and follows and it is just not healthy. Thanks for writing these words, they were just the reminder I needed today :)

  20. caleigh86 says:

    I’ve been reading blogs for a few years now and I agree that it’s sometimes hard to remember that what’s put out there on the majority of lifestyle blogs is not complete reality (ie, I have yet to see the posts on broken pies, burnt turkeys, mud on the walls and smoothies that actually taste disgusting). Instead I try to take them for what they are, positive inspiration and information! It’s like that quote from Judy Garland: ‘Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else.’

    Someone somewhere will always have it better, but it’s all about balance! I look at some people who have great cars and clothes and take fabulous trips. I wish I could afford it all, but then I remember I’m so lucky to have a whole year of maternity leave to spend with my new baby. It’s like the lyrics in that Trooper song, ‘So have a good time, the sun can’t shine everyday.’

  21. Tasty Yummies says:

    I love this post Camille. Thank you for writing it and sharing! I myself fall victim to the comparison game and it’s an ugly side of this world that is so easy to succumb to. I have been constantly reminding myself of some version of this “mantra” for the past few months:
    “we are all on our own unique paths. listen to your own inner voice, be authentic and follow your own rules.”

  22. I love this post Camille. Thank you for writing it and sharing! I myself fall victim to the comparison game and it’s an ugly side of this world that is so easy to succumb to. I have been constantly reminding myself of some version of this “mantra” for the past few months:
    “we are all on our own unique paths. listen to your own inner voice, be authentic and follow your own rules.”

  23. motherburg says:

    Great post, I literally was just looking at a post of a mom who is pregnant again and as I felt a pit in my stomach as we have been struggling for many years with #2 your post popped up just in time. It is a nice reminder of being present and appreciative of the life we do have and not judging/feeling everyone one else has it better/easier. It is important as women we support the gifts life gives us and other women.

    • Agreed. Remembering that each person has their own internal struggles and life trials that we may or may not know about definitely puts it all in perspective. No one’s life is perfect, and we should support each other and do our best to celebrate with others when life brings them good things! Sometimes easier said than done, but you are right that practicing gratitude is a bit step in the right direction.

  24. tamaramenges says:

    Love this, thanks for posting!

  25. Mollie says:

    Girl, just yes. Nailed it.

  26. Anne says:

    Thank you for addressing this rather strange phenomenon that we’ve never really had to deal with as a society before.

    I’ve felt pressure to document trips, dining experiences, and even big purchases on social media, simply out of fear that my life would be portrayed as boring and uneventful if I didn’t. I recently noticed that this pressure had taken hold of me when I committed to big trip and was subsequently more excited about what Instagram photos I would be able to get out of it than just having the chance to see a new part of the world. It was a semi-embarrassing realization, and after seeking out and reading a similar post to this one, I’ve begun to change my outlook a bit, though it’s still a work-in-progress. Instead of trying to keep up with others, I’m using Instagram to be more observant in my everyday life and capture moments that I would not have noticed or appreciated before. Being able to create and reflect on beauty that happens in daily occurrences is how I’m making social media a positive thing in my life.

  27. Nicky H. says:

    I think we’ve all been there at some time some how. It is about realizing that pitfall and finding a way to come out of it. Those same people who are getting all the likes started with just 1 or 2. Have faith in whatever you decide to set out and create. Your time will come. Great Article C.

  28. […] I have fallen victim to this many a […]

  29. Libbynan says:

    Now that I’m almost 67 I realize how many years I wasted playing this silly game. Fact: no one’s life is anywhere near perfect. This is largely because none of us has all that much control over our circumstances and most of our choices are between bad and worse. I don’t mean to be pessimistic; just realistic. We all have options, but all the options come with negative side effects….. just like medications. You just have to figure out which ones you can live with.
    Life is all about choosing what you can live with and then living well. Our circumstances may not be ideal…… mine certainly are not……. but we can live ideally anyway. All of us can make the small, daily details of our lives wonderful whether or not the life we are living is wonderful. My health has been less than good for the past year, but I can get up every morning and take a cup of my excellent coffee out on the patio and sit in the shade and watch my two little dogs stalk birds & rabbits and just laugh & laugh. No matter what I have to deal with for the rest of the day, that moment was wonderful and I can make more wonderful moments as the day wears on. But I do have to work at it…… it doesn’t just happen. That is what we have to do…… work at making our own lives wonderful and not worry about the lives of others. We never really know what their lives are like anyway.

    • karin says:

      Libby…you made my morning! Yes, not all of us are 30 and under, thus we know realty, but these blogs also give us a wonderful opportunities to live more with an optimistic view and enjoy the smaller luxuries in life besides short shorts, high heels and trips far away (fortunately, I have done)….Myself I love the food and drink ideas…simple but delicious.

  30. Aimee Mars says:

    As a new blogger, and I mean like this week new, I really appreciate this post and certainly needed to read it. I’ve found it so easy to compare myself in the very beginning and I disrupts my outlook as well as my inspiration!! Thanks for writing. I’m going to bookmark this and come back to it when I need it.

  31. The comparison game impacts so much of our lives – in every aspect, it’s a constant. That’s actually one of the reasons I started by blog – to help people be confident with who they are, to appreciate and love their own uniqueness. So much around us is fake and scripted, that it becomes easy to lose yourself in that noise. Thanks for sharing Camille!

  32. […] media train when I started this blog just over a year ago. Personally, I can totally relate to this post on Camille Styles this week. It has some great reminders of how to avoid the comparison […]

  33. Sidney says:

    I think this is a great post Camille! It can be so hard not to play the comparison game. I read once that we only compare ourselves to people who have more(i.e. people who have the “perfect” life), never to people who have less. If we readjusted our perspective we would see how truly blessed we are every day.

    • Libbynan says:

      Sidney, this is such an important point! Almost ten years ago when I was facing breast cancer treatment, I felt so alone and scared. I had my family but I was the one who was sick and had to have chemo and radiation and surgery, etc. just about that time our local newspaper ran an article about breast cancer treatment in Africa. Basically there was none….. 90% of African women with breast cancer die within three years. All of a sudden I felt so incredibly lucky. Every doctor, nurse, aide, orderly, and volunteer was my new best friend. And they really were! Everyone treated me like I was their mom or sister or granny. My attitude was everything, turning fear into gratitude and loneliness into companionship.

      • Chanel Dror says:

        Thanks for that little dose of inspiration @Libbynan. Glad to hear you won that fight, I’m sure your positive attitude and new outlook was a powerful weapon!

  34. Kelli says:

    Love this. It is all so very true and the pointers are really great. It reminded me of a similar article I recently shared on Elephant Journal (http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/living-happy-the-true-value-of-money-kelli-fischer/) that was more focused on playing the comparison game financially. In any way that we do it, it can be so detrimental to our well being and our own satisfaction and pleasure with our current state of life. We are all where we need to be, sometimes we just need the reminders. Thanks for sharing!!

  35. […] Find: This blog post on Camille Styles about avoiding the Comparison Game grabbed my heart. So often, we find ourselves […]

  36. Emma says:

    Thanks for writing this Camille! It’s a topic that’s been on my mind a lot lately. I’m a firm believer that there is plenty of opportunity and success for everyone. Being supportive and happy for other’s achievements helps us all live a kinder more positive life.

  37. Laura Saur says:

    This post could not have been written at a better time. Your words really got to me and were so beautifully and truthfully written. I’ve definitely been feeling this way all this week. Thanks so much for the great tips for keeping my head up and continuing to focus on what’s important, diving into my passion, and just being the best me I can possibly be. =)

  38. Hi Camille, You know I love your blog! Anyway what you said here… “One thing that usually helps me combat jealousy of any kind is to remember that, no matter how hard I try, there’s always going to be someone prettier, smarter, more well-liked, wittier, and all-around better than me at just about anything I can pursue, but they can’t be me.” This is so true and I learned that when my older son was in kindergarten. I thought he was the smartest kid ever and when I learned there were kids as smart or smarter I felt anxious . Why I felt this way I have no idea, but my husband said the same exact thing that you said and from then on I never compared him or any of my other children or myself to other’s anymore. What freedom! I’m so grateful for that lesson I learned long ago.

  39. Christie says:

    Very well said and thank you for sharing!! It definitely can feel a little dishes tying at times.

    Christie
    http://Www.classifybychristie.com

  40. […] inspiring words on setting your mind to be your best […]

  41. Stephanie says:

    Love this! Thank you Camille for continuing to be such an inspiration! XX!

  42. […] ? How to avoid the comparison game. […]

  43. […] cookies here I come! 2. Yay or nay for Spam? This article on spam is fascinating. 3. How to avoid the comparison game. 4. J. Crew’s new XXXS sizes. 5. These guys are too cute. I’d totally eat them. 6. Now […]

  44. […] suck at social media, so this week it was really nice to read How to Avoid the Comparison Game by Camille […]

  45. […] thank you all for the incredibly kind, smart and generous comments on last week’s post about Avoiding the Comparison Game. I’m so glad that the piece resonated, and you can bet that your responses gave me lots of […]

  46. Kate says:

    Amen and well said, sister!

  47. Thank you so much for sharing this Camille! Really needed to hear this and it’s really given me a boost to the week! Thanks! xx

  48. Thank you for being so honest. As a fellow blogger & woman it doesn’t take much to feel these feelings you describe. Focusing on my personal accomplishments and gratitude help me the most.

  49. Love this, Camille! I especially feel like being others focused and encouraging is the key :).

  50. elizabeth says:

    Love this ~ it’s so timely and thoughtfully written Camille! It’s a great reminder that with people, just like snow flakes, there are no two alike.

  51. Oh I absolutely enjoyed reading this, thank you so much for sharing! I haven’t felt the comparison game for some time, but this this afternoon I was scrolling through IG and felt this immediate reaction that nothing I do would ever measure up…and then I realized how insecure it made me feel and quickly checked in to see where it steamed from. It steamed from me taking time away from real-life to peek into ‘curated life’ and feeling guilty about it. Crazy how comparison shows up in so many different ways. Thank you for writing this.

    • Thanks Lesley – those “self-checks” are definitely necessary from time to time! Good for you for stopping to take a moment of self-reflection and realize the root of your feelings so that you can keep them in check and focus on the things that really matter!

  52. Denise says:

    Some very wise words in this post that were exactly the words I needed to hear today. Thank you for that. It truly makes a difference!

    Also: a great way to get introduced to your site. I love the positivity and inspiration all throughout the variety of posts here. Huge compliments!

  53. […] Camille Stiles, photo via Pinterest […]

  54. Thank you for writing this! I’ve been struggling with the comparison game a lot lately and I hadn’t even realized how much social media plays into that. Just having it named and realizing that others struggle with it too is immensely helpful.

    • Awesome, SO happy to hear that Alanna! It’s so true that sometimes we have those nagging feelings of insecurity but can’t quite put our fingers on where they come from… but realizing the cause is hugely important, since it allows us to be proactive with our emotions (and the situations that affect them!)

  55. Love this article and that you are keeping it real. xo cristin

  56. Eliza says:

    Thanks so much for touching on this topic. You’re definitely not alone. I’ve actually stopped being glued to Instagram for this same reason. Here’s a mantra that usually helps….

    “a flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”

  57. […] Comparison is the thief of joy – this blog post says it like it […]

  58. […] We’ve all done it before. Compared ourselves to the images coming through our social feed and maybe even feeling down trodden by being constantly inundated by glamorous Instagram pics of perfect outfits, exotic far away vacations and all round good times. Great tips on avoiding the comparison game. (Camille Styles) […]

  59. cococakeland says:

    absolutely accurate reminder to put down our phones and walk away for a little while and think about what truly counts in life… great post, camille – it really resonates! i spend an inordinate amount of time on instagram and creating content for my blog – but sometimes i just want to burn all my devices and hide in a corner… ha! i will say that through my blog and instagram i’ve made some great actual friends (like, real-life ones i’ve been able to meet and hang out with in person!). i should get off the computer now… heehee xoxo

  60. […] of social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the Comparison Game because it’s easy to make your life look amaze through Valencia. I’ve definitely had […]

  61. […] – stop worrying about how many instagram likes you’re getting […]

  62. Lisa says:

    Loved this post and your approach to dealing with the anxiety we must all feel when scrolling through our social media accounts! Maybe because I’m older (44) and didn’t grow up with social media, I find myself naturally seeing through the ‘facade’. (I mean we all know what goes into interrupting a nice dinner to style and take photos for IG…if some people want to do this at every meal, great! I don’t!!). So I guess I’m saying I find it slightly humorous. So maybe that gets me through too? Also, when a blogger/IGer gets too polished and starts sporting a new Chanel bag every month…I move on!

  63. […] there appears to be a collective gut check going on in blog-land right now? This post, this post, this post and this post are just a few examples of the stock bloggers seem to be taking of our current […]

  64. […] “If I find myself focusing on the number of “likes” I’m getting, it probably means that it’s time for me to get outside myself and start engaging with other people, loving my family and friends, and setting my sights on the people and things in my life that matter.” – Camille Styles […]

  65. Great post Camille. Totally agree with you. Life is too short to worry about others. We need to appreciate more who and what around us.

  66. […] How to avoid the comparison game. […]

  67. […] And a lovely post on avoiding comparison. […]

  68. […] How to avoid the comparison game. […]

  69. Robyn says:

    Hi Camille, I read your post when published and it really resonated with me. I didn’t realise how much until I was sitting at the traffic lights today thinking about your insights and realised how much I (we) get caught up in other peoples portrayed lives on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, etc. Being a visual person I love this age of visual stimulation but your post made me think how important it is to remember to also take time out to be ourselves, to connect with who we truly are, and be our authentic self instead of trying to keep up, or be like someone else. Thank you for reminding me to be the best version of myself :)

  70. […] Styles talks how to overcome the comparison game… a problem I know I personally struggle with when it comes to growing up in an environment […]

  71. […] how to avoid the comparison game  […]

  72. […] playing the comparison game. Have you read this article by Camille Styles? It’s an incredible cultivation of those feelings and emotions the social media […]

  73. Nikki says:

    I really enjoyed this article, thank you. Very well said. At a time where I sit and question myself and judge myself according to others, it adds so much stress and it sways me from who I really am. Your post reminded me its okay and I’m not the only one who does this. Whew! I took a break from social media for awhile. I found that certain people just attract the likes but sometimes those certain people lack total substance (personal friends or acquaintances). So this was just the perfect reminder I needed to be true to myself and post according to that. Thanks again!

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