Like many people, I spend the entire year in eager anticipation of the holiday season. The holidays evoke scenes of warmth, laughter, and picture-perfect memories. But… with that also comes the unspoken pressure to create experiences that satisfy everyone’s expectations. As a result, we meticulously decorate, plan every detail, and scroll through social media for inspiration—all in pursuit of a flawless holiday. (Literally, Nancy Meyers’ The Holiday comes to mind.) In striving for perfection—and falling prey to holiday perfectionism—we often miss what truly makes this time special. We aim for a perfect image, and we miss out on connection, presence, and joy.
Holiday perfectionism can turn even the simplest traditions into sources of stress. Hello, overwhelm. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that a seamless gathering or a beautiful home is essential to holiday magic. But perfectionism creates a barrier that blinds us to the imperfect beauty of this time of year. By releasing the urge to control every outcome, we learn to embrace a more relaxed holiday season. One that’s filled with authentic connections, spontaneous joy, and the kind of warmth that comes from simply being present with our loved ones.
Featured image from our interview with Devon Liedtke by Anastasiya Pudova.
How to Combat Holiday Perfectionism and Embrace Genuine Joy
Ahead, we’ll explore how to let go of holiday perfectionism—from (finally!) setting boundaries to embracing self-compassion. We’re sharing thoughtful tips on reframing expectations, saying no to overcommitting, and finding joy in the present. Think of it as a gentle path to creating a holiday that feels as good as it looks. Because it’s true: crafting a truly fulfilling holiday season is an art—one where presence, not perfection, is the ultimate gift.
Why do we experience holiday perfectionism?
Oftentimes, holiday perfectionism stems from expectations that set the bar high for our celebrations. We’re constantly surrounded by perfectly styled images on social media and Hallmark-coded movies that present an idealized version of the season.
At the same time, the urge to recreate our childhood memories can turn holiday traditions into a source of stress. Nostalgia can lead us to chase after an ideal version of past celebrations, and it’s easy to feel disappointed when things don’t go as planned. The “comparison trap” makes this even harder. As we scroll through social media, it’s easy to measure our unfiltered lives against these curated highlights. This can make us feel like we’re not measuring up, ultimately pulling us away from the true spirit of the season.
Embracing Imperfection: Shifting Your Mindset
Instead of fixating on a flawless celebration, try reframing your goals to focus on connection and joy. Think about what makes the holidays special for you and your loved ones. It might be sharing a meal, laughing over memories, or simply enjoying each other’s company. By putting joy at the center of your celebrations, you can let go of the need for everything to be perfect.
Another important step is to identify what really matters during the holidays. Make a conscious effort to prioritize family, friends, and meaningful moments over how your holiday looks. Setting intentions instead of rigid expectations can help keep stress at bay. Think about what you want to experience during the holidays rather than stressing over how things should look. By establishing realistic intentions and allowing for flexibility, you can enjoy a holiday season that emphasizes presence over perfection.
How to Let Go of Holiday Perfectionism
This all starts with making your celebrations feel more manageable. Begin by planning mindfully—outline your holiday tasks and prioritize what truly matters. Simplifying your planning can help you avoid the overwhelm that often comes with trying to do it all. (Who else has been there?) Focus on the essentials. In other words, keep what resonates and let go of everything that doesn’t.
Delegation is also key. Don’t be afraid to accept help from family and friends. Trust me, people love helping out, and it’s an easy way to bring everyone together. It can be hard not to be in control of every detail, but I’ve learned that embracing support can lead to unexpected joys.
Finally, maintaining your wellness during this busy season shouldn’t be overlooked. Breathwork, mindfulness—even if that’s simply mindfully indulging in your favorite holiday treats—and giving yourself plenty of rest is important. Center in on the present, and you’ll be more attuned to the magic of the moment.
Setting Boundaries and Managing Holiday Stress
Setting boundaries is essential for managing stress. Start by communicating openly with your family about your needs. Gently setting boundaries can help everyone understand what you can realistically handle. It’s perfectly acceptable to express your limits and prioritize your own mental health amid the hustle and bustle.
Another important step is to avoid overcommitting. Remember, it’s okay to say no to events or tasks that don’t work with your schedule or resonate with your priorities. Focus on the gatherings and activities that truly bring you joy. (Cookie swap? I’m there.) Lastly, don’t forget to carve out time for self-care. The holiday season can be busy and overwhelming, so make sure to check in with yourself regularly. Get inspired with Camille’s holiday nighttime self-care ritual. Whether it’s a moment of quiet reflection, a favorite hobby, or simply resting, taking care of yourself will allow you to enjoy the season all the more.
Learning to Embrace an Imperfect Holiday
When we let go of the pressure of perfectionism, we open ourselves up to spontaneous moments and shared memories.
Over the years, I’ve found that the beauty of the season lies in its unpredictability. It’s those little hiccups and unplanned events that often become the most cherished stories to tell in the years to come.
Embrace the chaos and imperfections. When things *inevitably* don’t align with your expectations, shift your focus toward what matters—your loved ones, heartfelt conversations, and the joy of being together. By prioritizing authenticity over an idealized holiday, you’ll create a more fulfilling season that celebrates the beauty and messiness of being human. Step back, take a deep breath, and let yourself enjoy this time of connection and love without the weight of perfectionism.
